


what we are

by surrenderdammit



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Insecurity, M/M, Original Character(s), POV Alternating, POV Multiple, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-13
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-06-09 18:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15273858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrenderdammit/pseuds/surrenderdammit
Summary: Spencer feels unbalanced, and uncertain. Scared, almost. He needs to talk to Aaron. Aaron is his rock; he is steady, dependable, solid. He knows what to do, when Spencer is getting lost in his own thoughts, trying to analyze feelings and thoughts he has no context for.





	what we are

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you EclecticRegard for your prompt! It's at the end notes ;)
> 
> No beta, English isn't my first language, sorry for typos etc.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> (I can't title things, I'm so sorry lol)

oOo

 

The chief told them yesterday that they've called in the FBI for this case. It's beyond their little town’s abilities, apparently, to catch the sick freak that's been dumping bodies in the woods. Abigail isn't complaining, much, but she's never really thought that much about the BAU and what they do. It feels strange to let this team of strangers into her town, and it's got her a bit wary.

She watches them. Agents Hotchner, Morgan, Prentiss and Reid. It's clear to anyone that they're a well-established team, and the way they delegate has an air of confident authority about it. They're professional, and clearly used to the stand-offish attitude of her colleagues. It's a bit embarrassing, actually, so Abigail finds herself reluctantly stepping up and involving herself more closely with the agents.

Doctor Reid in particular turns out to be...interesting.

“Agent Morgan isn't very subtle,” she notes as they sit alone, looking through boxes of notes and scribbles found at the latest victim’s home. It's a wild shot, but Abigail has been asked to look for any clues, and Doctor Reid had offered his help. Apparently, he speed-reads at a scary rate, and had once gone through a murderer's collection of notes in just a few hours. Abigail hopes it won't take that long, her eyes are already watering.

“Hm?” Doctor Reid looks up from the papers he’s shuffling through, hair slightly disheveled and glasses in need of readjustment; they're slowly slipping down his nose. He's a good-looking man, around Abigail's age, but there's something a bit off about him. He's indimitating, with the way he talks. He's got a well of knowledge that clearly ruffles more than a few feathers, but in the end, it's very impressive. He's just missing some social cues, which she figures might be a thing that goes hand in hand with that scary brain of his.

And so, she elaborates on her statement. “Well, y’know. He flirts with you a lot, for a colleague. And, y’know, a man. I don't know how it works at the BAU, but around here, it might be a good idea to tone it down. You're here for hopefully a short time, and it might be best not to aggravate the people here further.”

Doctor Reid frowns for a moment before shaking his head. “Agent Morgan and I aren't in a relationship. He's always been like that. I'm quite aware of the level of homophobia in isolated towns like this, though. If you feel it might hinder our investigation, I will ask him to cease his usual teasing.”

Abigail squirms slightly in her seat, feeling very uncomfortable. She can't deny his words, this town has its fair share of ignorant and hateful people. It's just shameful to have it so openly acknowledged.

“I didn't mean…” Abigail begins, fidgeting with a book and clearing her throat. “I didn't mean to offend. My, um, my sister is...is gay. It's just. It's not always  _ safe,  _ you know?”

Doctor Reid smiles knowingly, and Abigail suddenly feels a chill run down her spine. No, he can't know, right? That's ridiculous.

“It must be difficult to live like that,” Doctor Reid says calmly, and Abigail can feel her heart beat increase. “In fear of the secret coming out. Especially if you're seeing someone, and that someone is in a position of power.”

“I don't know what you're... you're talking about, but, yeah, sure, must be,” Abigail stutters, hastily looking down as she starts flipping through the pages of the book. No notes hidden, no photograph stuck between the pages.

“I'm seeing someone. Someone I work with,” Doctor Reid offers. “Not Agent Morgan. It wasn't easy, at first. But letting the people you care about know, giving them a chance to understand...it’ll help. It’ll give you an opportunity to build an immediate safety net. Secrets always tend to come out, and I found it preferable to take control over the  _ when  _ and  _ how. _ ”

Abigail stares blankly at the random words cluttering the page open in her lap. Her mind is whirling.

“I apologise,” Doctor Reid says after a long, painful moment of silence. His voice is soft and apologetic, causing her to look up at him almost by reflex. He's got very kind eyes, she notes, though he sits rigid in his seat. “Sometimes, I overstep my boundaries. I can tell the subject makes you very uncomfortable. You may ask me some uncomfortable questions in return, if you like. It might put us on even ground, as they say.”

Abigail snorts, the ball of anxiety in her chest loosening slightly. She has a feeling he's reaching out to her, in a way that isn't all that usual. At least, it doesn't seem like a thing Doctor Reid does. But she's only been acquainted with him for a couple of days, and while she's always been good at reading people, these BAU agents are in a league of their own.

“So if you're dating a colleague...who isn't Agent Morgan...how the hell do they put up with his flirting?” she asks with a grin, attempting to defuse a bit of the tension by lending some humour to the situation. “He’s quite persistent, and loud, about it.”

Frowning, Doctor Reid skims through the last paper in the bunch he's holding, putting it aside when he's done. He takes his time thinking on his answer, and it seems like Abigail's attempt has backfired.

“I... don't know,” Doctor Reid finally replies, looking up at her with an inscrutable look on his face. “He hasn't said anything about it.”

Abigail bites her lip, uncertain. She doesn't really know this man, or what kind of relationship he’s in, or with whom. She's unaware of the circumstances, and so she can't make any well-founded comments on it. So she doesn't.

“Okay,” she says instead, clearing her throat. “So tell me more about the type of person we’re looking for. Are you seeing any connection with this victim? So far I’ve only come across a bunch of handwritten notes in novels and plays. Nothing to explain why or how they ended up on the killer’s radar.”

Best stick to the case, she thinks, as Doctor Reid starts talking a hundred miles a minute. There's still a thoughtful frown on the Doctor's face when they wrap up for the day, and he leaves her with an absent-minded good-bye. Abigail hopes she hasn't stirred up any trouble. Martha wouldn't be happy to hear about that, secret romantic that she is. When you're the first female sheriff in this backwaters town, you can't afford to be  _ romantic  _ after all. Too soft, too  _ female. _

Of course, you can't be known for fucking chicks either. There's a reason Abigail can't talk about them, after all.

 

oOo

 

Spencer spends the flight home staring out the window, trying to ignore the looks Aaron is sending him. His lover knows something is troubling him, but Spencer couldn't afford to have the conversation during an active case. Now, with the unsub caught, their job is done but with Morgan and Emily so close, Spencer doesn't want to initiate such an intimate and private discussion.

Morgan knows something is amiss, too, of course. Emily as well. They're all too familiar with each other, and always primed to analyze, despite the 'no profiling the team’ golden rule. Spencer knows he's being obvious; squirming away from Morgan's touch, frowning at every 'pretty boy’s comment. Keeping his distance. He can't stop watching Aaron either, wondering. Analyzing their relationship, overthinking all the little things.

Spencer doesn't know  _ normal _ . He's assumed what he has with Aaron is, on most levels, not uncommon at least. Younger man falling for an older man of authority. Colleagues getting closer and eventually falling in love. It's the plot of many romantic movies and books for a reason; it's not  _ unusual.  _ To develop romantic and sexual feelings for someone you spend a lot of time with is  _ normal. _

But perhaps Spencer has overlooked some things. When Officer Stone (“Call be Abigail, please”) had questioned him about Aaron's tolerance of Morgan's flirtations, he’s been caught off guard with the realization that he doesn't  _ know  _ what Aaron thinks about it. And that, Spencer thinks, is  _ not  _ normal. He can't help but feel this is something he should  _ know.  _ Does it make Aaron uncomfortable? Jealous? Is he indifferent? Does Morgan know, is he being provocative on purpose? Is there genuine interest, and if so, does Aaron know and resent it? Has Spencer's ignorance on the matter, his blindness to it, caused Aaron any emotional stress or harm?

Has he unwittingly been hurting the person that means so much to him?

Spencer feels unbalanced, and uncertain. Scared, almost. He needs to talk to Aaron. Aaron is his rock; he is steady, dependable, solid. He knows what to do, when Spencer is getting lost in his own thoughts, trying to analyze feelings and thoughts he has no context for.

There's another hour until they land. Spencer looks out at the dark sky, counting seconds. Aaron will offer him a ride home. No one will be surprised. They all know home mostly means  _ Aaron's place _ by now. Spencer will accept. They’ll be quiet in the car, because Aaron doesn't want to be distracted when driving at night on low energy-reserves after a case. Once home….once home, finally, Spencer will talk.

 

oOo

 

The first thing Aaron does when he's unlocked the door and ushered Spencer inside, is gently pushing the man up against the hallway wall and pinning him down for a slow, gentle kiss. He's missed the warmth of Spencer's slender body pressed up against his own, he's missed his soft mouth and breathy, dream-like sighs of pleasure. It's good to finally be home, the stress of the case mostly behind them, and Spencer back in Aaron's space where he belongs. No one around to hide from or practise discretion around, just them.

Well, them and whatever  _ thing  _ is on Spencer's mind. Aaron will deal with it in a minute, but for now, he kisses Spencer deeply and buries a hand in his hair, while the other slips down to rest on his hip. Spencer's reaction is immediate; he moans and spreads his legs as best he can, inviting Aaron to step between them and press their groins together. Aaron nips playfully at Spencer's lip in return, grinding his growing erection into Spencer's, and chuckling when it makes him clutch at Aaron's shoulders before he hitches a leg up by Aaron's hip. Aaron helps support it with the hand that was on Spencer's hip, using the one in his hair to tug him gently into place.

“Darling,” Aaron murmurs against Spencer's lips as they break the kiss for air, gripping Spencer's thigh harder as he grinds into him with increased urgency. He hasn't fucked him in a week, there has only been stolen kisses and illicit groping, and it's  _ torture  _ to step away from the pliant, willing body of his lover. He lets go of Spencer's leg and keeps him pinned to the wall with a hand on his chest, pulling his other hand out of that silky, messy hair to run through his own in a restless gesture.

Spencer gazes up at him with a slight betrayed expression, mostly confused, with his lips shiny with spit and his cheeks a pretty shade of pink. His eyes are wide, mouth slightly parted as he pants, and his fingers are digging into Aaron's shoulders  _ hard  _ in protest. He's straining in his slacks, and Aaron isn't doing any better. Not with Spencer looking so damn debauched after only a few kisses.  _ Shit.  _ But Aaron won't let them be distracted, despite being the one to initiate their intimate embrace. The long-term health and success of their relationship is much more important than a short-term release, after all, no matter how much they both want it.

“C’mon, Spence. Let's go cool down in the living room, and we can talk about what's been bothering you,” he says, lifting Spencer's hands off of his shoulders but keeping one hand clasped in his to lead Spencer away from the wall and off towards his couch. It's telling that Spencer hasn’t said a word, not even to do his favorite thing; letting his grievances be known. A less distracted Spencer would've come up with a laundry list of reasons why they shouldn't have stopped making out like horny teenager in the hall long before Aaron even entertained the notion of stopping.

“I, um,” Spencer begins, allowing himself to be pulled down into Aaron's lap without a struggle. It's potentially an act of cruelty against them both, because Aaron's dick is still hard and having Spencer's tempting bottom pressed against it certainly isn't helping matters. Spencer squirms, and Aaron bites his tongue to keep from groaning. Instead, he loops his arms around Spencer, holding him secure against him, and gazes expectantly up at him.

“I had a conversation with one of the officers,” Spencer finally continues, cheeks still flushed and face drawn in a troubled frown. “Officer Stone. She's closeted, and in a relationship with Sheriff Olsen.”

Aaron nods, having noticed the way the two women had acted around each other, with body language and the different pitch to their voices. He’d also noticed Officer Stone’s more cooperative demeanor towards them, and her interest in Spencer most specifically. They must have had time to talk about more than just the case when Spencer has volunteered to work with her.

“She noticed the way Derek flirts with me, and she was concerned that it would be too obvious for her conservative town,” Spencer explains dryly, and Aaron almost missed the way he casts his eyes away.

“So it's got to do with Morgan, then,” Aaron muses, already aware of Spencer's behavior towards their colleague. Pieces are starting to fall together, but Aaron prefers to hear it from Spencer's mouth. Often, speaking the problem out loud helps with acknowledging it. Something that Spencer needs to do.

“Yes, I...um, it was pointed out to me that he flirts with me a lot,” Spencer begins, nervous. Aaron hugs his tighter for a moment, enjoying the way he melts into him. He's still a damn gorgeous distraction in his lap, but Aaron is committed to easing the burden that is weighing on Spencer's mind first, before they pick up where they left it in the hallway.

“And she wondered,” Spencer continues, fingers twitching against Aaron's arm, “how my partner could stand it. It made me...think about things. Worry. Because we've never addressed it, and I don't know how you feel about it. It can't be normal, can it?”

Aaron sighs, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Spencer's throat. He feels him swallow nervously, and looks up to meet his wide, pretty eyes.

“It’s just how Morgan is. He flirts with the people he cares about, and that definitely includes you. He doesn't mean anything by it. He knows you're in a committed relationship, and he's happy about it. He warned me to take good care of you, yes, but he's seen how happy we make each other. I don't feel threatened by him, and his flirtatious comments are often more funny than actually charming. I don't  _ own  _ you Spencer. Men, and women, are allowed to express their interest in you. You're a beautiful, attractive young man. It's going to happen. What matters is that you come home to  _ me.  _ That you choose  _ me.  _ Alright?”

Spencer looks relieved, nodding along and looking down at him adoringly.

“Thank you, Aaron,” he says, sincerely, before leaning down to kiss him. Aaron responds gladly, licking his way into Spencer’s mouth.

He knows they've probably reached Spencer's quota on emotional talk for the evening, but he can't help but break away from the kiss to whisper a quiet “I love you” against the vulnerable skin of Spencer's neck.

“I love you too,” Spencer groans, shifting until he's straddling Aaron's lap rather than just sitting on it. “Now,  _ please,  _ Aaron,  _ fuck me _ .”

Aaron grins. He's more than happy to comply.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "CRIMINAL MINDS PROMPT BECAUSE IT’S BEEN FOREVER: idk I’m imagining like an outside observer noticing that Morgan is flirty as fuck and they wonder how Hotch puts up with it to the point where Reid (f or m) starts to wonder too??? Just general concerns about “is our relationship -normal-???” Because normal has never really been a part of Reid’s life"
> 
> Also, please leave a comment :) if you can! It would mean a lot to me <3


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